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TOPIC: Any Good Golf Jokes?

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JohnnyGK
Any Good Golf Jokes?

JohnnyGK

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Member Since:
    December 30, 2002


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Sunday October 1, 2017 8:59 AM
Have not heard a good golf joke in a while ... anyone got one?
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 Message #85792
Rat-Patrol
RE: Any Good Golf Jokes?
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    April 20, 2013


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Sunday October 1, 2017 9:11 AM
My short game? Bada-bing!
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JohnnyGK
RE: Any Good Golf Jokes?

JohnnyGK

GK Event: Played in a GK Event

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Sunday October 1, 2017 9:16 AM
QUOTED  My short game? Bada-bing!


Mine Too!!!
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Hogan
RE: Any Good Golf Jokes?
Member Since:
    October 21, 2006


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Sunday October 1, 2017 3:12 PM
Three gentlemen are playing golf with a very attractive young woman; they come to the 18th hole, and she has a four foot putt to break 90 for the first time, she says,"who ever helps me make this putt, I will have dinner with tonight"...the first guy takes a look, and says, "it breaks left to right," the second guy says , "no, it breaks right to left."...the third gentleman takes a look at the putt, bends over, picks up her ball, and says. "your putt is good"...
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 Message #85795 - This was a reply to message #85794
mpisarski01
RE: Any Good Golf Jokes?
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Sunday October 1, 2017 5:04 PM
Chuck Norris once made a divot in Arizona. We now have the Grand Canyon.

The craters on the moon are from Chuck Norris's range session.

Four retired men play golf together once a week for many years. One day on 16th hole that runs along side the highway, a funeral procession drives by. One man says to the others, "Stop and remove your hats, show some respect."

Afterward, one of the other men asked him what got into him. "I have never seen you show anybody any respect."

The first man replied: "I was married to her for 65 years."
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 Message #85797 - This was a reply to message #85792
sammy3
RE: Any Good Golf Jokes?
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Sunday October 1, 2017 5:39 PM
It was back in the 70's and a soon-to-be prominent and rather arrogant (Ray Floyd) was playing at Augusta in his first Masters.
Back then the players could not bring their own caddies. They had to use one of the locals.
Floyd told the Caddy Master he wanted a big fellow who could handle his bag, but who also would keep quiet, no advice needed.
The caddy who was assigned Floyd said, "Hello Mr. Floyd."
Floyd said "Hello." And followed with: "That's the last I want to hear from you unless I ask you a question."
Everything went well until the 10th hole when Floyd pushed his drive into the right trees on the par 4. After surveying the scene, he said out loud, "I'm going to hit a low fade out through that
opening to carry and land mid green and then roll over the crest down near the hole."
Surprisingly he pulled it off exactly and turned to his caddy and said, "How's that?"
The caddy spoke for the first time and said, "That wasn't your ball."
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 Message #85798 - This was a reply to message #85792
JohnnyGK
RE: Any Good Golf Jokes?

JohnnyGK

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Sunday October 1, 2017 6:21 PM
LOL - Loving these Jokes - Thanks - keep them coming please

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 Message #85801 - This was a reply to message #85792
kviser
RE: Any Good Golf Jokes?

SoCal Community Staff

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Monday October 2, 2017 8:27 AM
You heard about the guy who broke his arm on the ball washer? He fell off.

Here is a link to a few I have heard before:

http://www.golf.com/tour-and-news/best-golf-jokes
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 Message #85809 - This was a reply to message #85792
JohnnyGK
RE: Any Good Golf Jokes?

JohnnyGK

GK Event: Played in a GK Event

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Monday October 2, 2017 11:09 AM
QUOTED  Here is a link to a few I have heard before:

Share some of those jokes here too

Thanks!
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 Message #85810 - This was a reply to message #85809
cencalhack
RE: Any Good Golf Jokes?

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Monday October 2, 2017 11:17 AM
A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story
and listened to her prayers which ended by saying: "God bless Mommy, God
bless Daddy, and God bless Grandma and goodbye Grandpa."
The father asked, "Why did you say goodbye Grandpa?"
The little girl said, "I don't know, Daddy, it just seemed
like the thing to do.”
The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to
her prayers which went like this: "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and
goodbye Grandma.”
The next day the grandmother died.
“Holy Moly, thought the father, “this kid is in contact with the other side."
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say:
“God bless Mommy and goodbye Daddy.”
He practically went into shock. He couldn’t sleep all night and got up at the
crack of dawn to go to his office.
He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch
and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would
be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the
day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at
every sound.

Finally, midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.
When he got home his wife said, “I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?"
He said, “I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."
She said, “You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened
to me this morning. My golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson."
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