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Etiquette Question
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TOPIC: Etiquette Question

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Alex326
Etiquette Question
Member Since:
    November 20, 2015


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Friday December 7, 2018 2:49 AM
I was going to pose this question a few months ago but seeing as it happened to me again the other day, the timing seems right. I’m reaching out to see your thoughts and actions in similar situations. It’s regarding getting paired up with strangers, who play SLOW!

First a little background. I’m talking about generally one of two situations. First, you either get paired up on the first tee with 1-3 others, or at some point (early on in the round) you end up catching and joining a couple other players.

Then within a few holes, it becomes painfully obvious that your newfound group is THE slow group on the course. To the point where others are getting waived through.

So my question is this, how to you politely exit the group if at all? Or at minimum encourage them to pick up the pace of play?

The other day, we let four groups play through, a couple of which were singles. By the 7th hole, even after letting four groups play through we were still 2 holes behind the group in front and we were in jeopardy of not finishing before dark.

Is there a proper etiquette for bowing out of a playing group and going forward as a single or joining another single? In cycling the go to “excuse” for not riding with someone, was “I’m doing some specific intervals”. The other rider(s) knew to go about their business and leave you alone.

I don’t want to offend the other golfers, but also don’t want to sabotage my game in the name of politeness.
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 Message #89994
sngernz
RE: Etiquette Question

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Friday December 7, 2018 5:54 AM
As a regular single golfer, I've been there, Alex, and I feel your pain. My experience has been you cannot be a coach for the clueless ... if they're a slow player than there's nothing you can do to move them along. That means a peaceful separation. Many ways to do that without offending the person (unless you're stuck in a cart with them, the ultimate conundrum) and honesty is the best policy. I've used the excuse to move ahead by telling the slow dude 'I have somewhere to go after the round and need to hurry along', or just said 'I'm going to move ahead, have a great day' and I'm gone.

Proper etiquette? Really isn't any. Just gotta do it and don't look back.
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 Message #89995 - This was a reply to message #89994
sdscratchorbust
RE: Etiquette Question
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Friday December 7, 2018 7:41 AM
As an avid singles, fast golf player I 1000% agree with sngernz

The best move is the Irish Goodbye of French Exit in this instance. It saves the group the embarrassment, an awkward situation, and most importantly gets you on your way to play more enjoyable golf.

The best way I have found it wait until you hit a really good shot and they are looking for their balls. Just walk up to the green quickly putt your ball then walk off briskly and thank them and tell them to have a fun round and then never look back.

Don't feel guilty as the current group also feels guilty for slowing you down so once you make a clean break all parties are happy.
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 Message #89997 - This was a reply to message #89995
sixpez
RE: Etiquette Question
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sixpez: sixpez - Golf Normad GK Event: Played in a GK Event GK Cup: Past & Current Champions of The GK Cup

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Friday December 7, 2018 8:38 AM
I'm right there with you guys. Sometimes there's only so much you can take, especially if you know things are wide open in front of you. I will first try to lead by example and move at a quick pace, maybe making some not-always-so-subtle comments about slow play as I go. Unfortunately, this rarely works as some people are just slow no matter what you try to do, whether it's a lack of self-awareness or an overblown sense of self-importance.

Looking for an opening is a good idea to minimize the awkwardness like sdscratchorbust suggests. If you are on the green and pretty close to the hole while everyone else is d!cking around, then that's a good time to putt out quickly and just move along. Or, if they stop for snacks/drinks at the turn (or with a cart girl), then sometimes that gives you a escape window. Of course, if you have been paired in a cart with someone, then it gets really awkward if you decide to walk ahead : )

Otherwise, if I see things are going to be unnecessarily slow with other players early on, I just try and plant the seeds along the way that I have somewhere else to be. Gradually express a bit more urgency. Then when the time comes I say it's time to split off. In my case, I usually do have more tee times to get to or I want to make sure I finish before dark if it's the last round of a day, so often there is a legitimate excuse behind the departure.

No matter what, it will be awkward unless they actually suggest you go ahead. This does happen sometimes, especially when paired with a self-conscious novice player that doesn't want to play with a stranger.
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 Message #89998 - This was a reply to message #89997
noeldaof
RE: Etiquette Question
GK Event: Played in a GK Event

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Friday December 7, 2018 8:44 AM
It's difficult sometimes, but just be polite- I would just say, "We're gonna need to catch up to the group ahead" to start with. If nothing happens, I'll just say, I'll be going ahead.
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JVGA
 Message #89999 - This was a reply to message #89994
24hourgolf
RE: Etiquette Question
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Friday December 7, 2018 10:44 AM
QUOTED I've used the excuse to move ahead by telling the slow dude 'I have somewhere to go after the round and need to hurry along', or just said 'I'm going to move ahead, have a great day' and I'm gone.

I have been saying the same thing for years. Had to use it earlier this week. Had a big smile on my face loading clubs in the car after, as front 9 took 2.5 H and back 1.5.

IMO you will always feel better for making this choice vs being irritated and grumbling along with the slow group.
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Rat-Patrol
RE: Etiquette Question
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Friday December 7, 2018 12:47 PM
I try to lead by example and keep the group moving. I will try to be courteous and diplomatic about it, but if need be I will get direct. I usually feel I am doing the groups behind me a favor by staying with the offenders as opposed to playing on. JMHO
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Rat-Patrol
RE: Etiquette Question
GK Event: Played in a GK Event

Member Since:
    April 20, 2013


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    My Grandpa was
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Friday December 7, 2018 12:47 PM
I try to lead by example and keep the group moving. I will try to be courteous and diplomatic about it, but if need be I will get direct. I usually feel I am doing the groups behind me a favor by staying with the offenders as opposed to playing on. JMHO
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 Message #90002 - This was a reply to message #90000
dconnally
RE: Etiquette Question

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Friday December 7, 2018 2:13 PM
Jim. Emphatically!
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Alex326
RE: Etiquette Question
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    November 20, 2015


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Friday December 7, 2018 8:49 PM
I'm glad I posted this topic as now I feel much better. I appreciate all the feedback and I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one in this boat. The other day, I (not so patiently) waited for the turn then told them I had to make some business calls and would be having my phone on speaker and didn't want to interrupt their game. I politely told them it was nice meeting them and then got the heck out of Dodge.

I always try to be conscious of pace of play regarding groups ahead and behind. With this group I tried to drop hints about darkness and comments bout being the slow group and not wanting to hold other groups up. It didn't matter so I finally just bailed.

I know now that it ok to just move on along and not feel guilty.
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