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Laughter Required!
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TOPIC: Laughter Required!

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CPennbo
Laughter Required!

Community Director/Women

GK Event: Played in a GK Event

Member Since:
    March 20, 2003


Favorite Golfer:
    Mickelson
Favorite Golf Course:
    Eagle Falls/Balboa


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Thursday March 19, 2020 8:29 PM
Ok, things are pretty grim these days but WE don't have to be! Post your funniest GOLF joke, cartoon, or comic here! No politics!!!

Let's laugh!


I'll start:

Two golfers are ready to play on the 11th tee as a funeral cortege passes by. The first player stops and bows her head as the cortege passes.

“That was a really nice thing to do,” the second golfer says. “It’s good to see there is still some respect in the world.”

“Well, it’s only right,” the first golfer replies. “I was married to him for 35 years.”

[[Edited by CPennbo on Thursday March 19, 2020 8:30 PM]]
REPLY
New Year's Resolution- HAVE MORE FUN, DO MORE, SEE MORE, LAUGH MORE!
 Message #94069
mpisarski01
RE: Laughter Required!
GK Event: Played in a GK Event

Member Since:
    February 11, 2012


Favorite Golfer:
    John Daly
Favorite Golf Course:
    Grizzly Ranch


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Thursday March 19, 2020 9:24 PM
M y profile has had these on it for a while now. Hope you laugh........



Chuck Norris once Duffed a shot in Arizona and now we have the Grand Canyon

So why does the golfer carry two shirts? In case he gets a hole in one.

What should you do if you're golfing near lightning? Hold your 2-iron in the air, because not even God can hit a 2-iron.

How do you know a golfer is cheating on his wife? He always puts his driver in the wrong bag.

How do you "Tiger" proof a golf course? By strategically placing fire hydrants.

Why are golf and sex so similar? They are the two things you can thoroughly enjoy even though you are really bad at them.

If you think it's hard to meet new people, pick up the wrong golf ball on the course sometime.

What's the difference between a golf ball and a Nissan? A golf ball can be driven 300 yards.

What do you do after a round of 18 on a hot sunny day? Wash your balls.

Do you know why the game is called golf? Because all the other four letter words were taken.

It's not the size of your putter that counts, its how many strokes you take.

A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf clubs. Seeing the astonished look on her face, he calmly said, "Well, you said I had to choose, right?"

If the point of golf is to hit the ball less, then do I win if I don't play at all?

Why don't golfers in England work in the afternoon? Because it would interrupt their tea time.

What does a golfer do on his day off? Putter Around.

Why do golfers put minus signs in front of their scores? Because subtraction speaks louder than words.

What did the duck say to the golf ball? Nothing it should have ducked.

Why did the blonde golfing pro cheat on his wife? Because he thought every day he needed to play around.

What did the golfer say after performing yoga? " d%mn , my shaft is all bent."

What did the Mormon say to his golfing buddies? After 18 holes, I can barely walk.

Golf: a game where you yell fore, you get six, and you write five.

Mulligans are the reason golf balls come three to a sleeve.


"You think so much of your old golf game that you don't even remember when we were married," said the pouting wife. "Of course I do, my dear -- it was the day I sank that thirty-foot putt."

Which is the easiest golf stroke? The fourth putt!

Three guys, a teenager, his father and his grandfather go out to play a round of golf. Just before the son is ready to tee off, this fine looking woman walks up carrying her clubs. She says her partner didn't show and asks if she can join them. The guys say sure, since she is quite a beautiful woman. The lady turns to the three of them and says, "I don't care what the three of you do, cuss, smoke, chew, spit, fart or whatever. Just don't try to coach me on my game". The guys say okay and ask if she would like to tee off first. All eyes are on her ass as her skirt rides up when she bends over to place the ball. She then proceeds to knock the hell out of the ball right up the middle. She just starts pounding these guys, paring every hole. They get to the 18th and she has a 12-foot putt for par. She turns around and says, "You guys have done a great job at not trying to coach me on my game. I've never shot par before, and I'm going to ask your opinions on this putt. Now if any of your opinions help me make the putt, I will give that guy a blow job he will never forget. " The guys think, 'what a deal!' The kid walks over, eyes up the putt for a couple of minutes, and finally says, "Lady, aim that putt six inches to the right of the hole. The ball will break left 12 inches from the hole and go in the cup." The father walks up and says, "Don't listen to the youngster, aim 12 inches to the right and the ball will break left 2 feet from the hole and fall into the cup." The grandpa looks at both of them in disgust, walks over picking up the ball, drops it into the cup, unzips his fly and says "That's a Gimme."

Golf Cart A man during his married years overturned his golf cart and a blonde said to him come to my place and rest. She was quite convincing and then took her clothes off once there. And he said "I don't think my wife is going to like this." And she answered "She will never know." He said "That's not the problem she's still under cart."
REPLY
 Message #94071 - This was a reply to message #94069
dconnally
RE: Laughter Required!

GK Event: Played in a GK Event GK Cup: Past & Current Champions of The GK Cup

Member Since:
    October 6, 2003


Favorite Golfer:
    Arnie
Favorite Golf Course:
    Oak Quarry; Tobiano


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Thursday March 19, 2020 10:23 PM
LOL - leave it to Matt to upload Wikipedia!!
REPLY
Remember, we could be at work!!
 Message #94077 - This was a reply to message #94071
mpisarski01
RE: Laughter Required!
GK Event: Played in a GK Event

Member Since:
    February 11, 2012


Favorite Golfer:
    John Daly
Favorite Golf Course:
    Grizzly Ranch


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Friday March 20, 2020 10:29 AM
QUOTED  LOL


But you laughed!!!
REPLY
 Message #94097 - This was a reply to message #94077
noeldaof
RE: Laughter Required!
GK Event: Played in a GK Event

Member Since:
    November 4, 2004


Favorite Golfer:
    N/A
Favorite Golf Course:
    N/A


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Friday March 20, 2020 4:17 PM
IT SURE IS CRAZY TIMES.
THE WOMAN WHO USED TO
COUGH WHEN SHE FARTS
TO COVER IT UP
NOW FARTS WHEN SHE COUGHS.
REPLY
JVGA
 Message #94124 - This was a reply to message #94071
michaelko
RE: Laughter Required!
NorCal Community Staff

GK Event: Played in a GK Event

Member Since:
    October 1, 2003


Favorite Golfer:
    N/A
Favorite Golf Course:
    N/A


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Friday March 20, 2020 4:41 PM
QUOTED  Chuck Norris once Duffed a shot in Arizona and now we have the Grand Canyon


chuck norris got infected by Covid-19.


Covid-19 is now on 14 day quarantine
REPLY
 Message #94126 - This was a reply to message #94071
kassper7
RE: Laughter Required!
GK Event: Played in a GK Event GK Cup: Past & Current Champions of The GK Cup

Member Since:
    January 30, 2015


Favorite Golfer:
    Michelle Wie, Ricky
Favorite Golf Course:
    Oak Quarry


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Friday March 27, 2020 11:11 AM
One my wife helped me make up - what do you think?

Although most courses have closed the bar and grill to avoid the virus spread, some have set up a station where you can disinfect before heading home.

They're calling it the Covid-19th hole.
REPLY
 Message #94280 - This was a reply to message #94126
Deepsea14
RE: Laughter Required!
Member Since:
    October 15, 2017


Favorite Golfer:
    Dad and his Dad
Favorite Golf Course:
    The one I'm playing


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Saturday April 4, 2020 2:24 PM
What does AZ and NV have that CA and many others don't?

GOLF

That's NO joke ;(

Two show today ladies and gentlemen. This matinee and another at 7pm.

What do they call an alligator wearing a vest?

An In "vest" ta 'gator!!

yuk yuk...
REPLY
 Message #94424 - This was a reply to message #94280

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