"Chuck Norris stopped playing golf after that terrible incident with the Dinosaurs."
29 years old
Matt Pisarski's Golf Statistics
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Matt Pisarski's Favorites
Where Matt Pisarski Plays Golf
Los Angeles County; San Bernardino County; Riverside County; Palm Springs Area; Orange County; San Diego County; Ventura County; Santa Barbara County; Sacramento Area; Monterey Bay Area; Santa Cruz Area; Las Vegas Area; Mesquite/St.George Area; Laughlin/Bullhead City; Phoenix Area; Western Arizona; Northern Arizona; Colorado; Northwest Coastal; Southwest Coastal; Seattle/Tacoma/Bremerton; Vancouver/Southwest; Spokane/Eastern; * Other
What's in Matt Pisarski's Golf Bag
UPDATED AFTER CLUBS STOLEN IN FEBRUARY 2019
Callaway Rogue Driver - Project X Custom Shaft
Loaned Callaway XR 3 & 5 woods with project x smoke
Taylormade M6 4-AW
Odyssey Exo 7 putter
Chrome Soft or Z stars
Last Updated: May 5, 2019
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I love to play whenever I can and I love to play new courses. Please laugh at my terrible shots because I know I will.
Chuck Norris once Duffed a shot in Arizona and now we have the Grand Canyon
SO why does the golfer carry two shirts? In case he gets a hole in one.
What should you do if you're golfing near lightning? Hold your 2-iron in the air, because not even God can hit a 2-iron.
How do you know a golfer is cheating on his wife? He always puts his driver in the wrong bag.
How do you "Tiger" proof a golf course? By strategically placing fire hydrants.
Why are golf and sex so similar? They are the two things you can thoroughly enjoy even though you are really bad at them.
If you think it's hard to meet new people, pick up the wrong golf ball on the course sometime.
What's the difference between a golf ball and a Nissan? A golf ball can be driven 300 yards.
What do you do after a round of 18 on a hot sunny day? Wash your balls.
Do you know why the game is called golf? Because all the other four letter words were taken.
It's not the size of your putter that counts, its how many strokes you take.
A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf clubs. Seeing the astonished look on her face, he calmly said, "Well, you said I had to choose, right?"
If the point of golf is to hit the ball less, then do I win if I don't play at all?
Why don't golfers in England work in the afternoon? Because it would interrupt their tea time.
What does a golfer do on his day off? Putter Around.
Why do golfers put minus signs in front of their scores? Because subtraction speaks louder than words.
What did the duck say to the golf ball? Nothing it should have ducked.
Why did the blonde golfing pro cheat on his wife? Because he thought every day he needed to play around.
What did the golfer say after performing yoga? "Damn, my shaft is all bent."
What did the Mormon say to his golfing buddies? After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
Golf: a game where you yell fore, you get six, and you write five.
Mulligans are the reason golf balls come three to a sleeve.
"There are two things you can do with your head down, play golf and pray." -Lee Trevino
"Golf is my profession. Show Business is just to pay the greens fees." -Bob Hope
"You think so much of your old golf game that you don't even remember when we were married," said the pouting wife. "Of course I do, my dear -- it was the day I sank that thirty-foot putt."
Which is the easiest golf stroke? The fourth putt!
Three guys, a teenager, his father and his grandfather go out to play a round of golf. Just before the son is ready to tee off, this fine looking woman walks up carrying her clubs. She says her partner didn't show and asks if she can join them. The guys say sure, since she is quite a beautiful woman. The lady turns to the three of them and says, "I don't care what the three of you do, cuss, smoke, chew, spit, fart or whatever. Just don't try to coach me on my game". The guys say okay and ask if she would like to tee off first. All eyes are on her ass as her skirt rides up when she bends over to place the ball. She then proceeds to knock the hell out of the ball right up the middle. She just starts pounding these guys, paring every hole. They get to the 18th and she has a 12-foot putt for par. She turns around and says, "You guys have done a great job at not trying to coach me on my game. I've never shot par before, and I'm going to ask your opinions on this putt. Now if any of your opinions help me make the putt, I will give that guy a blow job he will never forget. " The guys think, 'what a deal!' The kid walks over, eyes up the putt for a couple of minutes, and finally says, "Lady, aim that putt six inches to the right of the hole. The ball will break left 12 inches from the hole and go in the cup." The father walks up and says, "Don't listen to the youngster, aim 12 inches to the right and the ball will break left 2 feet from the hole and fall into the cup." The grandpa looks at both of them in disgust, walks over picking up the ball, drops it into the cup, unzips his fly and says "That's a Gimme."
Golf Cart A man during his married years overturned his golf cart and a blonde said to him come to my place and rest. She was quite convincing and then took her clothes off once there. And he said "I don't think my wife is going to like this." And she answered "She will never know." He said "That's not the problem she's still under cart."
Matt Pisarski's Latest Blog Entries
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Matt Pisarski's Golf Course Reviews
First time at Coyote Hills after hearing about it for so long, being a top OC course my expectations were high. In all honesty I was let down now dont... » More
First time at Coyote Hills after hearing about it for so long, being a top OC course my expectations were high. In all honesty I was let down now dont get me wrong this is still a fun course, I just had high hopes for better conditions.
Starting with the tee boxes, the par threes were annihilated and had lots of divots with no where to tee it up. Fairways had good coverage with a few different types of grass on some but the offered a great roll and a somewhat decent lie. Rough was a mixed bag but not bad for the most part especially around the greens. Now for the bad. The sand that I was in was terrible all firm with weeds growing out of them, my playing partners were a little more lucky as a few had some sand. Greens were soft and very very bumpy. I would like to blame the morning group for the bumps but it was more the grass itself. I think if they firm up the greens it would play smoother but obviously bring in the issues surrounding the greens.
The layout is great other than it is short and not being able to hit driver on half the holes is strange to me. If a good deal is found I would still return but only if no other deals are out there.» Close
Used a Teeoff.com promo code today for a 10:40 tee time. Weather was pleasant overcast in the beginning clearing up by the turn. From the moment I ar... » More
Used a Teeoff.com promo code today for a 10:40 tee time. Weather was pleasant overcast in the beginning clearing up by the turn. From the moment I arrived the course looked much more lush than the previous trips here. After talking to the marshal he mentioned that there was a new superintendent that had really made the place immaculate.
Conditions from tee to green were absolutely amazing. Lush tee boxes with many to choose from makes the course playable for any player. We played the blues which play around 6600 yards. Fairways extremely green and cut short for maximum roll out. This came in to play as the rough was cut short too so a lot of roll could cause major OB issues. Greens were smooth and medium fast. All well struck shots would stick or spin so that is a nice touch. Even though pins were in some tough locations I had the flat stick working from below the holes. San looked fantastic and fortunately I was not in any of them.
The staff here is awesome from the check in to the starter and Cart girls. Top notch service as expected from a Troon facility. I highly recommend playing here soon if you can snag a deal.» Close
Played 6/7/19 at 7 AM
I was really excited to finally play Edgewood after many years of seeing it on TV and playing here on WGT video games. We kn... » More
Played 6/7/19 at 7 AM
I was really excited to finally play Edgewood after many years of seeing it on TV and playing here on WGT video games. We knew we were early in the season so the conditions would not be 10's across the board, especially after this unusually snowy winter. There is no difference in price that we could find and rack rate was $230! Luckily the casino help that out with a nice jackpot.
Staff here is super friendly and provided exceptional service from the moment we arrived (except valet who we beat to the course). the starter hung out with us on the range as we were scheduled to be first off. He even offered to take a picture with 18 green and lake Tahoe in the background. Knowing a handful of the holes already we were surprised that the non televised holes kinda lacked in comparison. The course is mostly flat with a majority having pine tree's or lakes in play. The holes out in the open were all verti-cut and we though after the first 2 holes the entire course was going to be like that. It would have severely disappointed us especially since there was no mention of this maintenance from the staff.
The rest of the course aside from 5 fairways were in great shape, lush tee's, rough, and firm greens make for a tough course. We also had to fight 20mph gusts coming off the lake so scoring was very tough. I am very happy that I got to play here as it has been on my bucket list but the rack rate will probably keep me from coming back.» Close
Took our annual trip to grizzly ranch this weekend and buy is this course amazing. This year we booked one of the Wolf tree cabins and they are specta... » More
Took our annual trip to grizzly ranch this weekend and buy is this course amazing. This year we booked one of the Wolf tree cabins and they are spectacular and also gives you a nice stay and play rate for the golf course. The staff here make you feel welcome as soon as you get to the guard shack. Sam in the pro shop was very informative and the 3 lady’s in the bar were awesome and super friendly.
The course is fantastic shape right now even after the long winter. From tee to green the course is lush. Fairways are generous and provide great roll on well hit shots. Rougher was thick and penal and would punish you for errant shots. If you miss the rough you were severely punished with either fescue or tall pine trees and wild flowers. The greens were firm and running at an 11 on the scale. They did however allow for well struck shots to stick. Sand seemed to be fine but I was not in any traps.
Overall this is my favorite course and I highly recommend the trip to stay in the cabins and play the golf courses.» Close
Enjoyed an Awesome day out at reflection bay 5/31. GK reviews showed that the conditions were awesome lately so we decided to head out and play. We te... » More
Enjoyed an Awesome day out at reflection bay 5/31. GK reviews showed that the conditions were awesome lately so we decided to head out and play. We tee’d off early and only a fast foursome was in front of us. We very rarely saw them and nobody behind made for an enjoyable pace of 3:45.
As for course conditions RB is still in amazing shape. From tee to green the course is still in immaculate shape. Tee boxes has full coverage and lots of space to choose from. Fairways very lush with only one brown spot that I could remember. It was cut Nicely and provided decent roll. Greens were firm and glassy, they did hold well struck shots but made you think hard about all putts. Rough is also lush and just long enough to penalize bad contact. Sand is currently being replenished on a few holes bust was mostly good.
Overall this is a wonderful course that has no two holes alike. I can’t wait to come back for GK plays at the end of the month.» Close
Matt Pisarski's GK Buddies
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