"Chuck Norris stopped playing golf after that terrible incident with the Dinosaurs."
29 years old
Matt Pisarski's Golf Statistics
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Matt Pisarski's Favorites
Where Matt Pisarski Plays Golf
Los Angeles County; San Bernardino County; Riverside County; Palm Springs Area; Orange County; San Diego County; Ventura County; Santa Barbara County; Sacramento Area; Monterey Bay Area; Santa Cruz Area; Las Vegas Area; Mesquite/St.George Area; Laughlin/Bullhead City; Phoenix Area; Western Arizona; Northern Arizona; Colorado; Northwest Coastal; Southwest Coastal; Seattle/Tacoma/Bremerton; Vancouver/Southwest; Spokane/Eastern; * Other
What's in Matt Pisarski's Golf Bag
Cobra KING F8+ set at 9.5°
TM RBZ 3W
TM SLDR 21°
Tour Edge EX% Hybrid
TM Speed Blade 5-AW
Cleveland TFI 2135 with jumbo winn grip
Chicago Bears Towel and Divot fixer
Chrome Soft or Z stars
Last Updated: December 7, 2018
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I love to play whenever I can and I love to play new courses. Please laugh at my terrible shots because I know I will.
Chuck Norris once Duffed a shot in Arizona and now we have the Grand Canyon
SO why does the golfer carry two shirts? In case he gets a hole in one.
What should you do if you're golfing near lightning? Hold your 2-iron in the air, because not even God can hit a 2-iron.
How do you know a golfer is cheating on his wife? He always puts his driver in the wrong bag.
How do you "Tiger" proof a golf course? By strategically placing fire hydrants.
Why are golf and sex so similar? They are the two things you can thoroughly enjoy even though you are really bad at them.
If you think it's hard to meet new people, pick up the wrong golf ball on the course sometime.
What's the difference between a golf ball and a Nissan? A golf ball can be driven 300 yards.
What do you do after a round of 18 on a hot sunny day? Wash your balls.
Do you know why the game is called golf? Because all the other four letter words were taken.
It's not the size of your putter that counts, its how many strokes you take.
A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf clubs. Seeing the astonished look on her face, he calmly said, "Well, you said I had to choose, right?"
If the point of golf is to hit the ball less, then do I win if I don't play at all?
Why don't golfers in England work in the afternoon? Because it would interrupt their tea time.
What does a golfer do on his day off? Putter Around.
Why do golfers put minus signs in front of their scores? Because subtraction speaks louder than words.
What did the duck say to the golf ball? Nothing it should have ducked.
Why did the blonde golfing pro cheat on his wife? Because he thought every day he needed to play around.
What did the golfer say after performing yoga? "Damn, my shaft is all bent."
What did the Mormon say to his golfing buddies? After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
Golf: a game where you yell fore, you get six, and you write five.
Mulligans are the reason golf balls come three to a sleeve.
"There are two things you can do with your head down, play golf and pray." -Lee Trevino
"Golf is my profession. Show Business is just to pay the greens fees." -Bob Hope
"You think so much of your old golf game that you don't even remember when we were married," said the pouting wife. "Of course I do, my dear -- it was the day I sank that thirty-foot putt."
Which is the easiest golf stroke? The fourth putt!
Three guys, a teenager, his father and his grandfather go out to play a round of golf. Just before the son is ready to tee off, this fine looking woman walks up carrying her clubs. She says her partner didn't show and asks if she can join them. The guys say sure, since she is quite a beautiful woman. The lady turns to the three of them and says, "I don't care what the three of you do, cuss, smoke, chew, spit, fart or whatever. Just don't try to coach me on my game". The guys say okay and ask if she would like to tee off first. All eyes are on her ass as her skirt rides up when she bends over to place the ball. She then proceeds to knock the hell out of the ball right up the middle. She just starts pounding these guys, paring every hole. They get to the 18th and she has a 12-foot putt for par. She turns around and says, "You guys have done a great job at not trying to coach me on my game. I've never shot par before, and I'm going to ask your opinions on this putt. Now if any of your opinions help me make the putt, I will give that guy a blow job he will never forget. " The guys think, 'what a deal!' The kid walks over, eyes up the putt for a couple of minutes, and finally says, "Lady, aim that putt six inches to the right of the hole. The ball will break left 12 inches from the hole and go in the cup." The father walks up and says, "Don't listen to the youngster, aim 12 inches to the right and the ball will break left 2 feet from the hole and fall into the cup." The grandpa looks at both of them in disgust, walks over picking up the ball, drops it into the cup, unzips his fly and says "That's a Gimme."
Golf Cart A man during his married years overturned his golf cart and a blonde said to him come to my place and rest. She was quite convincing and then took her clothes off once there. And he said "I don't think my wife is going to like this." And she answered "She will never know." He said "That's not the problem she's still under cart."
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Matt Pisarski's Golf Course Reviews
Took advantage of a underpar voucher yesterday at Shadowridge. I had never played here before and after seeing Sals... » More
Took advantage of a underpar voucher yesterday at Shadowridge. I had never played here before and after seeing Sals review it made the choice easy. I met up with an old high school friend who was out in the desert this weekend and off we went. We paired up with a father and his 11 year old son who was playing on a big course for the first time. We kept the pace at 4 hours and they were a pleasure to play with.
Conditions right now are spectacular as expected after a wetter than normal winter as well as the heat had only been turned up this week. Everything from tee to green were lush as can be with only a hand full of spots on one fairways looking like GUR from flooding. Greens ran smooth and medium pace as well as being receptive. The only issue I had was a few bunkers need to be turned up as they were a little more firm than some people like.
The UP voucher is a steal for the place right now. I highly recommend!» Close
Time - 1030
Temp 75° w/ 15-20 mph winds
Decided to play reflection on Friday when we got in town. I knew before hand that the gr... » More
Time - 1030
Temp 75° w/ 15-20 mph winds
Decided to play reflection on Friday when we got in town. I knew before hand that the greens were punched but the greens didn't bother me at all. They still rolled true and I only had one or two putts jump on me. The staff did a great job filling the holes with sand and they were out on the course dragging carpets on the greens after us. The grounds crew here does a fantastic job with this challenging layout. They finally got the new carts with GPS and they are very comfortable and the GPS is a nice addition.
Overall the course was in amazing shape fairways were a 9/10 with the exception of one on the back nine where they were relaying grass. Rough 9/10 is mostly out of its dormancy and starting to get very penal I had a few shots get stuck in the rough which normally is a good thing unless you want a bounce towards a green, that was not happening today. Tee 9/10 were great, they have a few sets to choose from and only the par 3's had some divots. Sand 5/10 is the next thing they will need to focus on at RB. I was in about 5 traps and all except one were firm. Personally I like them more firm than most but these were borderline bad. I did find one trap on 8 that my ball absolutely plugged into the face.
Overall this course is a must play.» Close
Decided to play CrossCreek today with Gregholla. We got out at 7:40 joined by Jin & Song to complete the four some. Weather was mostly cloudy becoming... » More
Decided to play CrossCreek today with Gregholla. We got out at 7:40 joined by Jin & Song to complete the four some. Weather was mostly cloudy becoming partly cloudy over our 3.5 hours round. Staff here is awesome as always even though we showed up with 3 minuets to spare.
Conditions are very nice right now as expected with all of the rain. Fairways were mostly lush and I didn't have a bad lie all day. Rough was penal and once you get past the first cut the native grass is standing about 2 feet tall right now and tightens this course up a ton. Greens were the highlight of the course they were medium fast and mostly firm. Well hit shots would stick but nothing else. Sand seemed to be fine with the exception of the green side bunker on 18 which looks like it was consumed by the creek during the rains. All they need to do is spike it and add a couple scoops of sand and it will be fine. The only real issue they have at cross creek are the tee boxes. Most are small therefore beat up but we had no issues finding a flat stance this morning.
If you have never played CrossCreek I highly recommend playing soon as the creeks are running and it makes for a wonderful soundtrack on this beautiful nature surrounded course. There are no homes on the course and no roads through it. There are multi million dollar homes on top of the hills but never come into play. I highly recommend this course.» Close
Joined Jim, Rob, and Steve yesterday during the guru rounds yesterday. After Reading everyone's review one thing is for sure. Don't make the Superinte... » More
Joined Jim, Rob, and Steve yesterday during the guru rounds yesterday. After Reading everyone's review one thing is for sure. Don't make the Superintendent angry because he will put pins in the most diabolical locations you can think of. Course was in Fantastic shape from tee to green as expected this time of the year after all of the rain.
Earlier in the day they had the SCGA qualifier and they stretched the course out to max distance. Pins were all tucked and greens were very firm and fast. Add that to the false edges on all green it made for a tough day for your short game. Tee's and fairways were lush. I can only say one fairway had some Ground Under Repair but even it didn't look bad. Rough was generally good as long as you were within 10-15 yards of the fairway. Ii was not in any sand so I cant judge it but from the look it seemed fine.
Overall this a very fun course and I highly recommend.» Close
Joined a Friend who is a member here and got out 2nd on Sunday 3/10. They are regulars on this course so the pro shop gave me the member rate of $117 ... » More
Joined a Friend who is a member here and got out 2nd on Sunday 3/10. They are regulars on this course so the pro shop gave me the member rate of $117 which is still steep but not terrible for not having to drive an hour to play a similar course for a better price. Course is in good shape right now and although not deep emerald green in color the grass is very healthy and provided nice lies all day.
Greens were fantastic and show no signs of the needle punch a week ago. They were fast and semi firm. All puts stayed online all day and Pins were in some very tough locations. Fairways had full coverage and were cut short. Rough is a mixed bag for what little rough there is and can be very penal if let grow for a week. I was in a few traps and they were mostly good except hole 17.
The only issue I had with this course today were the collars around the greens they were cut real short but an invasive grass is sprouting up in patches on almost every hole. This caused any attempts to put from off the green difficult to judge on where the ball is going to bounce. Overall its a fun course but price is steep. Its all about Location Location Location if you want to play here.» Close
Matt Pisarski's GK Buddies
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