"Chuck Norris stopped playing golf after that terrible incident with the Dinosaurs."
30 years old
Matt Pisarski's Golf Statistics
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Matt Pisarski's Favorites
Where Matt Pisarski Plays Golf
Los Angeles County; San Bernardino County; Riverside County; Palm Springs Area; Orange County; San Diego County; Ventura County; Santa Barbara County; Sacramento Area; Monterey Bay Area; Santa Cruz Area; Las Vegas Area; Mesquite/St.George Area; Laughlin/Bullhead City; Phoenix Area; Western Arizona; Northern Arizona; Colorado; Northwest Coastal; Southwest Coastal; Seattle/Tacoma/Bremerton; Vancouver/Southwest; Spokane/Eastern; * Other
What's in Matt Pisarski's Golf Bag
UPDATED AFTER CLUBS STOLEN IN FEBRUARY 2019
Callaway Rogue Driver - Project X Custom Shaft
Loaned Callaway XR 3 & 5 woods with project x smoke
Taylormade M6 4-AW
60° Titlest Vokey
Odyssey Exo 7 putter
Last Updated: April 15, 2020
Follow me on Instagram mpisarski01
I love to play whenever I can and I love to play new courses. Please laugh at my terrible shots because I know I will.
Chuck Norris once Duffed a shot in Arizona and now we have the Grand Canyon
SO why does the golfer carry two shirts? In case he gets a hole in one.
What should you do if you're golfing near lightning? Hold your 2-iron in the air, because not even God can hit a 2-iron.
How do you know a golfer is cheating on his wife? He always puts his driver in the wrong bag.
How do you "Tiger" proof a golf course? By strategically placing fire hydrants.
Why are golf and sex so similar? They are the two things you can thoroughly enjoy even though you are really bad at them.
If you think it's hard to meet new people, pick up the wrong golf ball on the course sometime.
What's the difference between a golf ball and a Nissan? A golf ball can be driven 300 yards.
What do you do after a round of 18 on a hot sunny day? Wash your balls.
Do you know why the game is called golf? Because all the other four letter words were taken.
It's not the size of your putter that counts, its how many strokes you take.
A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf clubs. Seeing the astonished look on her face, he calmly said, "Well, you said I had to choose, right?"
If the point of golf is to hit the ball less, then do I win if I don't play at all?
Why don't golfers in England work in the afternoon? Because it would interrupt their tea time.
What does a golfer do on his day off? Putter Around.
Why do golfers put minus signs in front of their scores? Because subtraction speaks louder than words.
What did the duck say to the golf ball? Nothing it should have ducked.
Why did the blonde golfing pro cheat on his wife? Because he thought every day he needed to play around.
What did the golfer say after performing yoga? "Damn, my shaft is all bent."
What did the Mormon say to his golfing buddies? After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
Golf: a game where you yell fore, you get six, and you write five.
Mulligans are the reason golf balls come three to a sleeve.
"There are two things you can do with your head down, play golf and pray." -Lee Trevino
"Golf is my profession. Show Business is just to pay the greens fees." -Bob Hope
"You think so much of your old golf game that you don't even remember when we were married," said the pouting wife. "Of course I do, my dear -- it was the day I sank that thirty-foot putt."
Which is the easiest golf stroke? The fourth putt!
Three guys, a teenager, his father and his grandfather go out to play a round of golf. Just before the son is ready to tee off, this fine looking woman walks up carrying her clubs. She says her partner didn't show and asks if she can join them. The guys say sure, since she is quite a beautiful woman. The lady turns to the three of them and says, "I don't care what the three of you do, cuss, smoke, chew, spit, fart or whatever. Just don't try to coach me on my game". The guys say okay and ask if she would like to tee off first. All eyes are on her ass as her skirt rides up when she bends over to place the ball. She then proceeds to knock the hell out of the ball right up the middle. She just starts pounding these guys, paring every hole. They get to the 18th and she has a 12-foot putt for par. She turns around and says, "You guys have done a great job at not trying to coach me on my game. I've never shot par before, and I'm going to ask your opinions on this putt. Now if any of your opinions help me make the putt, I will give that guy a blow job he will never forget. " The guys think, 'what a deal!' The kid walks over, eyes up the putt for a couple of minutes, and finally says, "Lady, aim that putt six inches to the right of the hole. The ball will break left 12 inches from the hole and go in the cup." The father walks up and says, "Don't listen to the youngster, aim 12 inches to the right and the ball will break left 2 feet from the hole and fall into the cup." The grandpa looks at both of them in disgust, walks over picking up the ball, drops it into the cup, unzips his fly and says "That's a Gimme."
Golf Cart A man during his married years overturned his golf cart and a blonde said to him come to my place and rest. She was quite convincing and then took her clothes off once there. And he said "I don't think my wife is going to like this." And she answered "She will never know." He said "That's not the problem she's still under cart."
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Matt Pisarski's Golf Course Reviews
Played 5/24 at 8:15 with some friends and had a blast like usual. Course is in great shape right now and from tee to green is lush. I dont have a lot ... » More
Played 5/24 at 8:15 with some friends and had a blast like usual. Course is in great shape right now and from tee to green is lush. I dont have a lot to add from my last review a few weeks ago but the greens have healed 100% and are d%mn near perfect right now. Smooth, quick, and not a divot to be found. Fairways had full coverage but on hole 16 they are losing the new sod and will need to work hard to keep it alive.
Speaking of hole 16 they still haven't changed the tee boxes for the hole and the scorecard and GPS says its a Par 5. on the card it says 490 yards from the whites but it played 400 on this day and I cant see where they are going to put the tips at 550+ yards I am not sure why they are doing this change but hole 13 is now a 350 yard par 4 but was a 500+ yard very challenging par 5. Only time will tell what their plans are but for now enjoy a 400 yard par 5.
The last thing to note was how nasty the rough is right now. It was probably 3-4 inches and very tough to get out of. Very fun challenge and caused issues on multiple occasions. In all the course is still in great shape and I recommend it highly if you can find a deal.» Close
Not a lot to add to Nick's review from a week or two prior. Tee's, Fairways and Rough are in good shape right now but they are starting to brown due t... » More
Not a lot to add to Nick's review from a week or two prior. Tee's, Fairways and Rough are in good shape right now but they are starting to brown due to the scorching heat. The greens are in great shape for this heat they are firm and quick but hold well hit shots. There is PVC in the cups and masks only required at the clubhouse. The only down side was there was no water, snack shop, or restrooms open on the course so be prepared. POP was under 3.5 hours as a 3 some. We let a single jump in front of us on hole one and didnt see anyone until a single caught us on 17. If you have the chance its worth a play.» Close
Took a drive out to Ram's Hill today to play some golf with Alex, Jim, and Tim. When you arrive to the guard shack they warn you that they will requir... » More
Took a drive out to Ram's Hill today to play some golf with Alex, Jim, and Tim. When you arrive to the guard shack they warn you that they will require masks in the cart staging area and will take your temperature before allowing you inside. The pro shop is having a fantastic sale right now with 50% apparel, 40% off shoes, and 30% off equipment. The staff here was fantastic from the moment you arrive and it continued onto the course where at least every other hole they were delivering Ice cold water bottles. I was impressed by this wonderful over the top service.
As for the covid impacts there are no rakes, sand bottles and cash allowed on the course. For the pins they purchased a neat contraption which is a flat disk that goes to the bottom of the cup and has a metal stick (think coat hanger) that you lift with your putter to retrieve your ball, allowing your ball to go fully into the cup. This is the best invention out there and cant cost more than $5 in parts to make. Definitely better than the pvc and foam that go around the holes at other locations.
As for the conditions I think this course is in the best shape I have seen it in a long time. Fairways were lush and some had some over watered spots but not to the point that it would affect your next shot. Greens were firm and per the sign running at a 9.5. The crews were out watering the greens trying to keep them alive as it was 100° all week so ample water is needed. Tee's and Rough were fantastic as well. Sand was good to great, I was in 4 traps and three were perfect with one being a wet and firm.
This course is absolutely worth the trip if in the area or withing 2-3 hours in. Coming from OC it took 2.5 hours to get there and I would do it again in a heart beat. A huge shout out to the staff and crew keeping this course 100% during this time of Covid plus the summer heat coming in quick this year. I recommend.» Close
Took advantage of my $90 casino card rate and brought along Rudyclub and Brady for a 8am tee time this morning, they also get to enjoy my rate. The st... » More
Took advantage of my $90 casino card rate and brought along Rudyclub and Brady for a 8am tee time this morning, they also get to enjoy my rate. The staff was wonderful even in their limited setting. Only one person in the pros hop at a time and they put bags and club displays in the way of going into the apparel area. Started was super friendly and reminded us to wear masks when within 6' of people.
As Blake said on the last review the course was definitely kept up during the shut down. Tee's and fairways lush as can be. Rough was really nasty but in great shape so no complaints there. The nature area that they normally clean up had been let go and if you were offline your ball was gone forever. Greens were punched on 4/20 and they are a week away from being fully recovered. I was very surprised how well they had recovered but they did have a full week of no play to grow. A bit firm but held shots and ran at a medium fast pace getting faster as they day went on.
As Robert noted in February they have completed making hole 13 into a par 4 and is now about 360 yards from the back tee's. I am not sure why they chose to do this as that hole was very tough to begin with now the creek that used to be in the 270 range is only 100 yards in front of you. Hole 16 is now a par 5 and I saw the new fairway that is still not 100% but the tee boxes have not moved so its a 400 yard par 5 at the moment. I dont see how they are going to stretch it out to the 550 yards that it shows on the score card. There is not a ton of room behind the current tee box.
The staff here really does a nice job here and make you feel like you are going on an adventure. The carts are new and very very comfortable. They also have a basic version of the shark experience where you can hook up your Bluetooth device and use the speakers. Honestly the volume can be cranked up real high and that may disappoint some traditionalists but I am ok with it.» Close
Ventured out to Hunter Ranch yesterday to play with Sal, Alex, and Robert. We had a 7:50 tee time and payed rack rate which I deem fair for the condit... » More
Ventured out to Hunter Ranch yesterday to play with Sal, Alex, and Robert. We had a 7:50 tee time and payed rack rate which I deem fair for the conditions. Not much to add to Sal's review but I really enjoyed the course layout and challenge.
? Fairways were lush and cut perfect allowing great cushion for your shots with ample roll out.
? Rough was mostly lush and long in length which helped keep shots from going ob many times.
? Greens were firm and medium/fast. I believe we only saw one shot with spin on it all day and that is rare because I love to spin shots. Flags were taken out but most of the holes you could see the PVC raised cup plus the score card lets you know what sector the pin would be on each hole.
? Tee's were fine and I didn't notice anything to complain about.
? The sand I was not a fan of, the consistency was that of beach sand real heavy and soft making it hard to play precision shots
Overall if you are within 2 hours of this course its worth a play.» Close
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