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TOPIC: What you didn't shoot April-2020 (GK Cyber Clubhouse)

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JohnnyGK
What you didn't shoot April-2020 (GK Cyber Clubhouse)

JohnnyGK

GK Event: Played in a GK Event

Member Since:
    December 30, 2002


Favorite Golfer:
    GK'ers
Favorite Golf Course:
    Pebble Beach Golf Links


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Wednesday April 1, 2020 6:48 AM
COVID-19 Edition:

Post what you shot as always but have some fun and imagine what you would have shot and post it here too.
REPLY
GK FACEBOOK - Please check it out - CLICK HERE - I'm doing fun posts all the time.
 Message #94367
mpisarski01
RE: What you didn't shoot April-2020 (GK Cyber Clubhouse)
GK Event: Played in a GK Event

Member Since:
    February 11, 2012


Favorite Golfer:
    John Daly
Favorite Golf Course:
    Grizzly Ranch


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Wednesday April 1, 2020 9:52 AM
Got out first thing this morning at Cypress Point. I had my people call and let them know that I would be playing today and they were very excited to have a VIP like myself grace them with my presence. I will provide the play by play below of my fantastic day.

Hole 1- Par 4- 420 yards- I was greeted by my caddie Jack Nicklaus and I asked him if he was excited to meet me and he couldn't hold back his smile. The first drive of the day was a high towering drive carrying about 315 yards leaving me with a 105 yard pitch. I land my AW 5 yards past the hole and spin it back to 1ft for a tap in birdie.

Hole 2- Par 5- 549 yards- I once again blast my drive about 330 yards right down the middle of the fairway leaving me about 219 yards into a stiff wind. I take out my three wood and hit a low stinger that lands 5 yards short of the green and rolls up to the green. The flag was hidden in the back corner and I couldn't see my ball stop. When I got up to the green I could not find my ball and I figured I just went over the back. Jack joking said look in the hole so I laughed and walked over to see that I had holed out for Albatross!!!! I was so excited that I did a chest bump with Jack.

Hole 3- Par 3- 156 yards- Ok I am on a total high after the double eagle and can hardly contain myself. As most people know if I make a birdie there is a good chance for a blow up hole on the next. Well I took out my 8 iron and topped the hell of the shot and was thinking I was done for. Well the ball hit the middle tee marker and rocketed up into the air and landed in the hole for an ACE!!!!!!! Go figure my second hole in one is a flukey shot like my first one back in 1999 at David L Baker.

Hole 4- Par 4- 383 yards- Now in a total state of delirium I hit 3 wood off the tee to about 250 yards. I pull pitching wedge and bounce off the back of the green. I pitch on and make my par with a one putt.

Hole 5- Par 5- 491 yards- I am offline on my tee shot but found some shorter rough leaving about 235 to the hole. I blast my 3wd out of the rough and roll up on the green leaving about 40 ft for eagle. My eagle putt is online the entire time only to lip out 180° I tap in the birdie and the delirium continues. now -7 through 5 Jack looks at me and says hey you might break the course record.

Hole 6- Par 5- 521 yards- I hit a nice 300 yard drive leaving 221 yards. I chunk my 21° and end up 70 yards out. I then blade my wedge it bounces off a tree then comes back and ends up 20ft for bird. I miss the putt low and settle for par.

Hole 7- Par 3- 170 yards- I pull out 7 iron and jack tells me I should club up due to the wind. I agree and Knock my 6 iron to 10ft. I slide Jack a crisp 2 dollar bill for the tip. I make the birdie putt and sit at -8.

Hole 8- Par 4- 369 yards. First big miss of the day as I find the dunes with my tee shot. Jack finds the ball and I have 125 yards to the green. I miss short but get up and down for par.

Hole 9- Par 4- 289 yards- I pull big dog and drive the green but have 60 ft for eagle. I get my putt to about 3 ft ad miss that as well for a 3 PUTT PAR! Jack makes fun of me and I fire him on the spot. They drive out another caddie and its Bagger Vance. Although really old and frail now he turned out to be a very good caddie.

After nine Holes I sit at 8 under and I take a quick rest break and wait for my Ruth Chris to be delivered by drone on the 10th hole.


Hole 10- Par 5- 476 yards. Playing down wind Absolutely crush my drive 355 yards leaving a PW in my hand I pull the shot left and into the front left bunker. I splash out and make a 2 putt par.

Hole 11- Par 4- 440 - Into the onshore wind I hit a low stinger of a drive that rolls out leaving me 195 to the hole. I hit another stinger but with my 4 iron and it misses left. I chip on a two putt after a bad read by Bagger. This was my first bogey of the day. Now -7 on the round

Hole 12- Par 4- 404- A slight dogleg right into the wind I make two great shot to reach the green and I drained a 25ft birdie to go back to -8 on the day.

Hole 13- Par 4 - 366- Still going into the wind I hit a low 3wd and have a PW from 120 out I spin the shot back and leave myself 5 ft for another birdie. now at -9 for the day and If I par out I can match the course record.

Hole 14- Par 4- 393 yards- I am getting ancy as the signature holes are coming up I miss hit my drive and find the bushes on the right side of the fairway. I take my drop and hit a great shot to 2 inches for a Par .

Hole 15- Par 3- 135 yards- A severe cross wind is making this short par 3 real tough. I get under my ball and know its going short and will splash land. Fortunately for me it hits a rock and I bounced up on onto the green. I make a two put par and remain at -9.

Hole 16- Par 3- 233 yards- Wind is not as crossed this time but I still need to aim right. I hit my 21° and it is looking pretty. Flying through the air drawing right into the flag. It hits the edge of the cup and bounces 6 feet away. The cup is damaged and Bagger calls the greens keeper to fix it before I make my birdie now leaving me at -10 and looking real good at setting the course record.

Hole 17- Par 4- 386 yards- Well all good things come to an end right? My drive decides to fade and splash into the pacific ocean killing Nemo on impact. I take my drop and chink my approach leaving a 60 yard par attempt well I miss badly and end up with a double bogey. I go full Roarksown1 and snap my putter in half and pulling a John Daly I toss it in the ocean. Now sitting at -8 needing birdie or better to match/tie the course record.

On my way to Hole 18 I saw Alex 326 riding his Bike with his golf clubs hooked onto the back. Of course he is matching in colors wearing all blue with a white belt, a blue bike and dragging his blue push cart with matching water bottle. I ask him to play hole 18 with e So I can get the GK BIRDIE CHAIN back. He agree's to the challenge and off we went to hole 18.

Hole 18- 343 yard dog leg right. Alex tee's off first with a nice 240 center of the fairway shot. I decided to fly over the trees and go for it. I land on the front of the green and roll off the back and into the bunker. Alex chunks his approach and he is about 30 yards out. Well the son of a gun chips in for birdie and starts running around like a fat kid in a candy store. I am not to worried as I need to get up and down to steal the chain. Well I decided to go ROB1563 and use Texas wedge from the trap and the ball comes out clean, it has about 25 feet left to travel and it starts to break left and I think im doomed. Suddenly a gust of wind pushes it back right towards the hole. the ball comes to rest 1/4 of an inch from the hole and I drop my head and pray for a gust. Well my wish was granted and the ball was pushed in by a gust and boom EAGLE! COURSE RECORD! and most importantly BIRDIE CHAIN!!!!!!!!!!!. Alex326 is angry and runs off like Shooter McGavin and Happy's gold jacket only to get close lined by Chuck Norris who was watching the final hole from the clubhouse.

[[Edited by mpisarski01 on Wednesday April 1, 2020 9:52 AM]]
REPLY
 Message #94369 - This was a reply to message #94367
Deepsea14
RE: What you didn't shoot April-2020 (GK Cyber Clubhouse)
Member Since:
    October 15, 2017


Favorite Golfer:
    Dad and his Dad
Favorite Golf Course:
    The one I'm playing


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Wednesday April 1, 2020 11:29 AM
I was with you all the way...

EXCEPT

QUOTED  Well I decided to go ROB1563 and use Texas wedge from the trap and the ball comes out clean, it has about 25 feet left to travel and it starts to break left and I think im doomed.


You broke your "Texas wedge" on #17 and Big Johnned it into the drink.

Otherwise totally believable.
REPLY
 Message #94370 - This was a reply to message #94369
Deepsea14
RE: What you didn't shoot April-2020 (GK Cyber Clubhouse)
Member Since:
    October 15, 2017


Favorite Golfer:
    Dad and his Dad
Favorite Golf Course:
    The one I'm playing


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Wednesday April 1, 2020 11:35 AM
March Madness is canceled, the NBA is shut down, the Masters is postponed, and my Aunt Marge’s senior bowling has even thrown in the towel. Now restaurants and bars are closed, and our 40-handicap governor is threatening to shut down all entertainment facilities including golf courses. I have not tested positive, but the coronavirus is killing me.

There is nowhere to go and nothing to do. My wife suggested we take a walk, but I don’t walk anywhere unless I have a golf club in my hand and it’s cart path only. My kids have a restraining order on us and won’t let us come within 200 yards of the grandchildren. And we can no longer eat out, but when we tried to cook at home, there were cobwebs in the oven.

The network channels are inundated with coverage of the virus. The golf channel has been showing reruns of old tournaments, which are almost as riveting as watching my brother-in-law’s video of his family camping trip to Yellowstone. And my wife is so desperate for something to do, she is even considering sex, and maybe even with me.

Paranoia is off the tracks. Before the shutdown, we were having dinner at a local bar. I let out a loud sneeze and everyone at the surrounding tables started yelling "check please." My stock portfolio is plummeting and most of our cash is currently invested in toilet paper. I am washing my hands 137 times a day. I don’t touch anyone. I don’t even touch myself. I have been using tongs to go to the bathroom. This has to stop.

Our society and economy have been crippled by a microscopic virus. Scientists have not yet determined the exact origin but have narrowed it down to a Chinese fish market or Rosie O’Donnell’s bathtub. And no one is sure how to prevent or cure it. In the past, the ways to prevent contracting a contagious disease were simple: don’t eat in restaurants with a cat on the menu and don’t date my college roommate’s sister.

I don’t consider myself to be in the high-risk category. I have been building up my immune system by eating one meal per day at MacDonald’s for the last 25 years. Germs just slide through me. My only pre-existing condition is an inability to launch a golf ball further than 180 yards. And, according to the CDC, symptoms of the coronavirus are sweats, dizziness, and trouble breathing, which I experience whenever I am standing over a 3-foot putt. I can handle it.

So, I proposed to my regular foursome the idea of escaping from our self-imposed Stalag 17 and venturing outside for a round of golf. Everyone recognized the danger and severity of the situation. But when faced with the decision to remain sequestered with our wives or to risk contracting a deadly virus, it was a no-brainer. Every man opted to play golf.

Our foursome does not pose a medical risk to mankind. My friend, George is virus-free. Social distancing has not been a problem for him. Other than us, he doesn’t have any friends. Bob, my neighbor is a urologist who has been working from home for several weeks. He has developed a way to do remote prostate exams by having patients sit on their cell phones. And our other partner, Jerry tested himself with a kit he bought online. However, he thinks he may have gotten the wrong kit. It showed no traces of the virus but indicated that he was pregnant with twins.

The federal government has established guidelines for social engagement. For example, you must stay at least 6 feet apart and no more than 10 people are allowed at a gathering, which means Patrick Reed’s fan club can still meet. In addition, our foursome drafted our own specific set of rules for Pandemic Golf.

Rules of Play:

· • Hazmat suits are permitted. As an alternative, one can wear a college mascot costume or big bunny pajamas.

· • Masks are not permitted, because we would look more like stagecoach robbers than a foursome.

· • Leave the flag in. And to avoid retrieving balls from the hole, any putt shorter than Lebron James is good.

· • Ride in separate golf carts and don’t come closer to another player than a fully extended ball retriever.

· • Don’t touch another player’s balls. This is always good advice.

· • No high fives. Fortunately, we seldom have a reason.

· • No petting the geese or the cart girl.

· • Don’t use the spot-a-pot. More disease in there than in all of Wuhan China.

· • No excuses. Slicing or hooking are not side effects of the coronavirus.

· • Make an online bank transfer to pay off your bets for the day.

· • Straddle the sprinkler on the 18th hole before getting into the car.

These rules and restrictions adequately protected us from contamination. Unfortunately, there is no vaccine for bad golf. I had trouble gripping the club with oven mittens, but it was an enjoyable afternoon which ended way too soon. There were no handshakes on the 18th green, no beers at the bar, and we drove home separately.

As the pandemic plays through, it is giving us a glimpse into our inevitable future where all meals are delivered, all entertainment comes through the tv screen, and all human interaction is through our cell phone. Where schooling is online at home, exercise is on a stationary bike in our basement, medical testing is done at drive-thru windows, and colonoscopies are performed at Jiffy Lube. The world is changing. It is becoming less interpersonal as technology consumes us. So now that we have time on our hands, everyone should take a moment to cherish this fading era, when friends still get together to hit a little ball around an open field for no good reason other than to enjoy the companionship of their fellow man.

- Author unknown.
REPLY
 Message #94371 - This was a reply to message #94370
mpisarski01
RE: What you didn't shoot April-2020 (GK Cyber Clubhouse)
GK Event: Played in a GK Event

Member Since:
    February 11, 2012


Favorite Golfer:
    John Daly
Favorite Golf Course:
    Grizzly Ranch


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Wednesday April 1, 2020 11:47 AM
QUOTED  You broke your "Texas wedge" on #17 and Big Johnned it into the drink.

Otherwise totally believable.


I am like Johnny GK and I carry two putters. A hotdog and a standard. I snapped the hotdog putter
REPLY
 Message #94372 - This was a reply to message #94370
Deepsea14
RE: What you didn't shoot April-2020 (GK Cyber Clubhouse)
Member Since:
    October 15, 2017


Favorite Golfer:
    Dad and his Dad
Favorite Golf Course:
    The one I'm playing


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Thursday April 2, 2020 8:34 AM
My April to become reality!?

The Abbott company has developed the blood test (3 minute/$30) for the COVID-19 virus and the conglomeration of other experts who have done their work and have the diagnosis and cure of this virus all but wrapped up. And the USA is best prepared for this to never happen again.

The WORLD is back open and going again swimmingly.

Deepsea14 schedules his 5 remaining matches to be played over 3 days.

In those games he comes out HOT from the lay-off. Plays those rounds net under par, throwing in a few birdies along the way.
ESPN highlight moment;He makes an eagle on a par 4 after a butt line zero 280 yard drive and a sweet spot 6 iron from 165 yds wraps in the flag, falls straight in the bottom.

Accumulates 10 points for his efforts and that puts him at 12 total top seed for the next phase of the GK15

[[Edited by Deepsea14 on Thursday April 2, 2020 4:21 PM]]
REPLY
 Message #94388 - This was a reply to message #94372
kevbig
RE: What you didn't shoot April-2020 (GK Cyber Clubhouse)
GK Event: Played in a GK Event

Member Since:
    March 15, 2007


Favorite Golfer:
    Tiger Woods
Favorite Golf Course:
    Palmer Course- Turtle Bay


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Thursday April 2, 2020 12:16 PM
QUOTED  Wuhan virus

You spelled COVID-19 wrong
REPLY
 Message #94392 - This was a reply to message #94388
michaelko
RE: What you didn't shoot April-2020 (GK Cyber Clubhouse)
NorCal Community Staff

GK Event: Played in a GK Event

Member Since:
    October 1, 2003


Favorite Golfer:
    N/A
Favorite Golf Course:
    N/A


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Thursday April 2, 2020 2:55 PM
Please stop calling this thing the Wuhan virus.

It only leads to stuff like this:
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/asian-america/asians-worldwide-share-examples-coronavirus-related-xenophobia-social-media-n1132036

If you choose to continue to call it that, you are complicit with these acts of violence, hate, and misinformation.
REPLY
 Message #94394 - This was a reply to message #94392
mpisarski01
RE: What you didn't shoot April-2020 (GK Cyber Clubhouse)
GK Event: Played in a GK Event

Member Since:
    February 11, 2012


Favorite Golfer:
    John Daly
Favorite Golf Course:
    Grizzly Ranch


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Thursday April 2, 2020 3:13 PM
Way to change your post Nic after seeing my detailed recap.
REPLY
 Message #94396 - This was a reply to message #94394
mpisarski01
RE: What you didn't shoot April-2020 (GK Cyber Clubhouse)
GK Event: Played in a GK Event

Member Since:
    February 11, 2012


Favorite Golfer:
    John Daly
Favorite Golf Course:
    Grizzly Ranch


RPGC MAIL USER VIEW USER REGISTRY ADD USER TO BUDDY LIST
Thursday April 2, 2020 3:13 PM
Way to change your post Nic after seeing my detailed recap.
REPLY
 Message #94398 - This was a reply to message #94394

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